What am I?
05.21.08 (3:06 am) [edit]Sometimes I don't really know what am I to her... maybe she thinks the same too... She'll just cry quietly sometimes in the room and when I ask her why or what happen she will just say no nothing. She say we need to communicate but it would not be easy for me as it was difficult for her.. I'm trying and still trying but why is it that I need to keep asking her just to get her to talk to me? Am I not the one you want to talk to or listen to? Or am I just someone who you say you love but expects from me but don't tell me or talk about anything. We do lack in this area of communication and seriously we need to do something about it. Sometime it pisses me off when she just keep doing things I dun like and she can smile about it.. ya true maybe to her its not a big deal and its the way she likes it like saying I don't like you, then again what about me, its just me also and I don't like it? I'm trying to understand her and communicate with her, not that I'm tolerating her, but is it that it will forever be like that? I don't think any of us wants it to remain like that too.. We need to do something about this together. I too want to be seen as a BF who cares and be there to listen to her problems and be felt like a BF. I'm not angry at her, but sometimes it just make me feel like "Fine, I asking you and you simply don't want to tell me, so who else you going to tell? Alright fine don't say anything, I don't want to hear about it either, maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but at least I tried.." There are times I just feel like walking away or even ask her to stop doing what she is doing as I don't like it, but I did not, because I would never want to do that to my GF, throwing temper at her for no reasons especially if its not even her fault, or even make our relationship worst by scolding her. I would rather talk about it than shout around and start a war for what, because we're getting to know 1 another? You want to know how I'm feeling at this pt? I'm feeling like a 3rd party, as if like she actually had someone else who loves her and she talks to that someone, cry with that someone, share with that someone. And I'm just someone who tries to love her and thats about it. I feel worst than a pet, at least her pets gets more attention from her. I don't know how to express myself really, maybe she already misunderstood all these. My english is not very up to standard, some people might misunderstood what I have meant in this entry, even her. All I want to say is I still love her but there is something we need to work on if we want to see changes, the great wall of china did not just appear overnight nor did civilization came about since the beginning of mankind.